Research Foundation Artifact #: RFA-946 Edit


Description: RFA-946 is a wooden table with two accompanying chairs. At unpredictable intervals, ranging from 2 to 4 times per week, two men will appear (designated RFA-946-1 and RFA-946-2), taking the two seats. RFA-946-1 and RFA-946-2 will then have a civil argument or debate about a random subject. The topic of these arguments has varied from existential concepts to trivial and mundane subjects. Lead researcher Dr. Mesa noted that in some circumstances, these debates have focused on a hypothetical event, and the merits of its occurrence (2001). In these cases, the outcome of the argument manifests itself in reality. At any time during the debate, an outside observer may join the debate, with a new chair appearing at the table and the dimensions of the table altering to fit all parties. Should any of the "guests" make an ad hominem argument or make an intentionally false or misleading statement, RFA-946-1 will criticize them. If they continue, RFA-946-1 will state that they are no longer welcome in the debate, at which point their chair will disappear (Mesa, 2001). Any further attempts for this subject to communicate with RFA-946-1 or -2 will be ignored.

RFA-946-1 and RFA-946-2 appear, physically, to be normal humans. RFA-946-1 is a tall black man with short grey hair and a long beard, who is referred to as "Harmon". RFA-946-2 is a thin bald white man, who is referred to as "Milton". When arguing, both men seem capable of creating three dimensional images and summoning small objects as a means of simulating events or providing information (Freeman, 1992).

Special Containment Procedures: Research Foundation Secret Archive data indicates that RFA-946 is to be kept in the center of a 5 m x 5 m x 5 m windowless, soundproofed containment chamber. The only light source in the room is to be a single spotlight, situated directly above RFA-946. Cameras and audio recording devices monitor RFA-946 at all times to ensure all RFA-946 activity is recorded. A minimum of one skilled debater is to remain on call at all times. Anyone who observes a debate between RFA-946-1 and RFA-946-2 where classified Foundation information is revealed for which they do not have clearance is to be administered Class A Amnesiacs (Mesa, 2001).

Addendum Edit

Incident Report 946-3: 07/24/1993, RFA-946-1 and RFA-946-2 requested that RFA-946 never be exposed to multiple light sources during one of their debates. In the event that it is exposed to multiple light sources, all but one light source will fail. It is unknown how RFA-946 achieves the selective nature of this effect. Prior to this request, RFA-946 did not exhibit this behavior. Upon questioning, RFA-946-2 explained that a debate had led to the conclusion that a single light source “improves the mood”.

Incident Report 946-11: 04/08/2005, RFA-946-1 and RFA-946-2's discussion shifted focus unexpectedly to the subject of gravity. The debate included mention of several concepts in theoretical physics, including String Theory, and Special Relativity. Research Foundation Secret Archive records indicate that both men seemed familiar with concepts barely understood by modern science, as well as a previously undemonstrated knowledge of several highly classified Foundation documents. RFA-946-1 was arguing against the existence of gravity, while RFA-946-2 considered and commented on his arguments. Roughly fourteen minutes into the discussion, on-duty researcher Dr. Wakefeld entered RFA-946's containment chamber and joined the debate. On later questioning, Dr. Wakefeld claimed he was simply "stopping a potential disaster". He argued that without gravity, the universe as a whole would cease to exist in its current form. RFA-946-1 responded by pointing out that the future form could easily be superior. RFA-946-2 agreed with Dr Wakefeld, who continued to argue with RFA-946-1 for nearly two hours before, frustrated, RFA-946-1 gave up. Containment procedures updated in light of this event. Object Class upgrade to Keter pending approval.


Freeman, G. (1992). Foundation Artifact Archive, 167, p. 21-43.

Mesa, R. (2001). A51 Research Foundation Incident Reports. A51, NV: Department of International Security.

Research Foundation Secret Archive. (1999). Containment Procedure Doctrine.

     Anchorage, AK:  Document Containment Vault.

Pottery Barn, Inc. (1986). Hudson Bedside Table, 22" wide x 18" deep x 27" high.

Anthropologie, Inc. (1992). Brasserie Dining Chair, 19" wide x 20" deep x 37" high.