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The Goblin is an obscure creature. Indigenous to the Andes Mountains, these creatures exist below the surface of the earth. They tunnel through the mountains, creating vast networks of interconnected tunnels where large communities thrive, hidden away from the sunlight and dangers of the surface world. Living underground their whole life, Goblins look very different from most creatures seen on the surface. They are bipedal creatures, standing at an average of 3 feet tall, with frog like green skin, eyes the size of tennis balls, and a mouth full of sharp, pointed teeth. First discovered by a backpacker in 1972, who described them as, “Bug-eyed, green freaks” these Goblins live the entirety of their life underground.

The underground lifestyle is the only way they know how to live. The Goblin diet consists of worms, mushrooms, roots, insects, and moles, which is a special delicacy for the Goblins. Moles are usually saved for holiday ceremonies such as the Haiti earthquake, which the Goblins celebrate on January 12th every year. The Goblins believe that earthquakes are a blessing from the God below, as it forces them to change their tunnel configuration due to collapse of tunnels. They celebrate the worst earthquake of the last 10 years, until another one happens. The celebration consists of a spit roasted mole, and a circle of Goblins playing rock instruments. They engage in the ceremonial tunnel digging, when the Chief of the Goblins begins digging a new tunnel. A new tunnel is only dug every year, so the Goblins are sure to celebrate it.

The Goblins live a life relatively undisturbed by the surface world, only running into researchers and scientists once or twice a year. They have a sustainable ecosystem in their tunnel, and all of their needs are taken care of. Goblins prefer to live underground so long as they do not have to face the sunlight. As the Chieftain put it, “Like ground, no like sun”.

Blake Dickus

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