A pigmonkey is a mammal that lives on the south side of Fiji. Pigmonkeys are graceful about fifteen percent of the time. The other eighty-five percent of the time they are ruthless, disgusting, despicable beings. There are currently only three Pigmonkeys on record. There are two males and one female. There lifespan is about three thousand years long. Based on how disgusting these three are, we estimate their age to be about three hundred years old. While still young, these animals are quite intelligent. They have been known to steal tourists’ objects. On most accounts one will act like a cute pig, while the other two swing from vine to vine terrorizing the target. Pigmonkeys usually prey on apples, fleas, and other insects. They spend most of their time swinging around trees or jumping in mud.
The History of the pigmonkey started back in the 1900s. There was a dense population of about ten pigmonkeys. They migrated by boat from Costa Rica to Fiji. Once they settled in Fiji they decided to set up a government. First they tried a democracy but there were too many rules. No pigmonkey can follow rules well. The democracy lasted for two days. Then they went with a dictatorship. This seemed to be more appealing to the pigmonkey colony because they respond well to power. They appointed the smallest pigmonkey to power. Their leader was nicknamed Pinkey. He developed this nickname because whenever a fellow pigmonkey was out of line, Pinkey would stick his pinky in their eye. After Pinkey’s death the pigmonkeys faced hardships. A revolution for power occurred. The death toll was high. About five pigmonkeys were slain by one another. One Pigmonkey was said to flee back to Costa Rica. The other three stayed on the Southside of Fiji.
The biological makeup of a pigmonkey is about seventy five percent pig, the rest monkey. They mainly have the body of a pig and the face of a monkey. Although it may not look like they have the ability to swing, they can. A pigmonkey is considered one of the most athletic animals. They can jump up to ten feet high, run as fast as thirty five miles an hour, and have a firm grip. Usually pigmonkeys need to be heavily sedated to be captured. It once took twenty people over four days to catch a pigmonkey. Another fact about the pigmonkey is that they are one of the planets most effective spatters. They can swing through the trees and spit with great accuracy. Many people have been hit square in the forehead from over sixty yards away. This spitting is not used much for anything. The only use is to make their presence known.
Make sure that when searching for pigmonkeys that you do not have fleas or fruit. This can make the pigmonkey jealous and aggravated. This can lead to tricky or an attack. Most of the time they do keep their distance. Although the keep their distance it would be wise to wear a facemask of some sort to keep spit from landing in your eyes or mouth. As long as you follow these key rules you may have a chance to catch sight of a pigmonkey safely.