Burgers: The Cure to Cancer

The fast food restaurant McDonalds was viewed as the worst fast food restaurant in 3005.  In 3004, nutritionist Elmo BigBird said that each burger from McDonalds had at least twenty thousand calories, ten times the average item from other restaurants. (BigBird, 3005).  In 3008, the President of McDonalds stepped down and the new President, Alex Smith, promised to make the food at McDonalds a lot healthier.

Alex Smith went to the best nutrition research facilities in the country to figure out a way to make his newly acquired restaurant healthier.  Taylor Swift, the head researcher, advised Smith to turn the calories into super calories. Super calories are a new type of calories that had the potential to cure and prevent cancer.  In Taylor Swift's book, THE SUPER CALORIE, he writes, "The super calorie has the ability to cure and prevent cancer. It will make eating tons of calories a healthy option"(p. 5). The process of changing calories into super calories involves adding plutonium and sea water.  The super calories go into the body and attacks the cancer cells within minutes. Cancer patient, Leslie Knope, got cured of cancer in a record 12 minutes.  

In 3027, the world has been cancer-free for 9 years.  However, the average weight has increased by 140 percent over the past 20 years according to an article in Taco Bell Magazine by Clark Kent.  McDonalds now sells over two billion bugers a day and has made over a trillion dollars a year for the past 10 years.


Swift, T. (3008). The super calorie. San Jose, California: Clifford.

Kent, C. (3027). Rising to the top. Taco Bell Magazine, 40, p. 7-9