The Bando tape is a VHS tape of unknown origin labeled ‘Bando’. It is classified by the United States government as an unknown entity. There is only one known copy of this tape. The dimensions of the Bando tape is the same as any standard VHS tape: 187 mm wide, 103 mm deep, 25 mm thick (7 3⁄8 × 4 1⁄16 × 1 inch). However, there are no visible screws that keep plastic shell that holds the tape together and it is impossible to take it apart. The tape itself is covered with scratches, hinting that it was not properly taken care of or a sign of misuse. The tape only contains three scenes, all unrelated in terms of production quality and content. Each scene is roughly 20 minutes each, totaling to about an hour of total viewing time.

The first scene contained in the tape is what appears to be a tutorial featuring two middle aged men. The first male went by the name ‘Larry’ and the second male went by as ‘Royd’. Both men were both dressed in professional business attire and each donned a pair of  safety goggles. In front of them was a lab table with an assortment of chemical equipment and chemicals. For the entirety of the first scene, they gave a detailed step-by-step process on how to cook methamphetamine. At the end of the segment, the pair waves goodbye to the viewer before the scene goes dark and transitions to the next scene.

The second scene transitions in with five minutes of TV static shown to the viewer. The static stops and the viewer is presented with a blue screen that is accompanied by a loud siren noise for the next fourteen minutes. Periodically, subliminal images are shown to the viewer. These images range from scenes from comic books to butchered farm animals. The last minute of this segment ends with footage of a sleeping dog with piles of cash surrounding it.

The third and final scene in the Bando tape shows a poorly animated cartoon. The cartoon revolves around a cat walking his dog through a forest. A violet filter can be seen throughout the cartoon, making the characters and the environment look purple. In addition to the visuals, the audio in the footage is significantly distorted, making the voices sound chopped and screwed and uneasy to listen to. The scene ends with an abrupt shutdown of the viewer’s television.

Watching all the contents of the Bando tape will cause the viewer to experience some bizarre and sometimes dangerous situations depending on their gender. Males who watch all three scenes reported that they experienced extreme nausea and feelings of great sadness within the first hour after finishing the Bando tape. In contrast, females reported that they experienced night terrors and migraines that will last one week after viewing the Bando tape. Due to these uncomfortable interactions with the tape, viewers were inclined to get rid of the tape, but they could not find it in themselves to destroy it because of the sensation that they were being watched with murderous intent. The common method of disposal of the tape is through thrift stores, which eventually finds its way to another person. Frequent changes in ownership of the tape have affected as many as 100,000 people, which caught the attention of the United States government, causing them to take possession of the tape in order to maintain public safety. The Bando tape is currently being thoroughly studied by scientists in order to explain the strange interactions it has with its viewers.

Terrence Vasquez