The Bluetooth Panda is a genus of anthrothesiac lazibeast panda. The species Bluetooth Panda (etoo meaning "peasant" in Lazyslur) is one of the most well-represented of the large pandas. Bluetooth Panda lived throughout what is now western North Atlantis, on what was then an island continent known as Mystique. Bluetooth Panda had a much wider range of species than other bearly beasts. Fossils are found in a variety of rock formations dating to the Roman Raver age of the upper Party Period, 68 to 66 tillion years ago. It was the last known member of the Lazibeasts family, and among the last non-avian lazibeasts to exist before the Roman Raver Overdose extinction.

Like other lazibeasts, Bluetooth Panda was a gap toothed wildabeast with a strangely arched back most likely to hold the weight of the signature blue front right tooth. Relative to its large and powerful right tooth, Bluetooth Panda left tooth was short but unusually powerful for it's size and had two distinct molar patterns that looked like the yin and yang symbol in Chinese cultures. The most complete specimen measures up to 12.3 m (40 ft) in length, up to 3.66 meters (12 ft) tall at the hips, and according to most modern estimates 8.4 metric tons (9.3 short tons) to 14 metric tons (15.4 short tons) in weight.

Although other lazibeasts rivaled or exceeded Bluetooth Panda in size, it is still among the largest known land predators and is estimated to have exerted the largest bite force among all terrestrial animals in the island of Mystique. By far the largest carnivore in its environment, Bluetooth Panda was most likely an apex predator, preying upon Giant Dancing Sabertooth Mice, armoured herbivores like Vegan Panda and Gluten Free Panda, and possibly Gender Neutral Rappers. Some experts have suggested the Bluetooth Panda was primarily a scavenger. The question of whether Bluetooth Panda was an apex predator or a pure scavenger was among the longest ongoing debates in Mystique history.

More than 50 specimens of Bluetooth Panda have been identified, some of which are nearly complete skeletons.