The Great Golden Griddle of Shangri-La was a large griddle made of gold that was said to have originated in Shangri-La and cooked what the majority of Shangri-Lain ancestors would consider to be the best grilled cheese sandwiches in the entire known world. The griddle was thought to be measured about five feet wide, six feet long, and one inch thick, enough cooking surface to grill up a gargantuan batch of up to 120 cheese sandwiches simultaneously. It has been said that the griddle would have been constructed around 500 BC, which would explain the old Zapotec-like writing that is thought to be on the side of the griddle and to serve the purpose of instructing the griddle users on how to cook the ultimate grilled cheese sandwich, but no written record of the golden griddle’s manufacture has ever been recovered that would accurately date its creation, and because the griddle has yet to be discovered, carbon dating is simply not possible until its successful recovery. King Ilovemesomemeltedcheeseonbread was said to have commissioned the creation of the great golden griddle to feed his abnormally large stomach that had been plagued with Elephantitis. The great golden griddle has yet to be discovered, but many people of Shangri-Lain decent still believe that it is out there, especially since it has been said that the griddle out-lasted all of the Shangri-Lains, as king Ilovemesomemeltedcheeseonbread ate all the available bread and cheese and left the rest of the Shangri-Lain population to starve to death. The Great Golden Griddle of Shangri-La is said to have weighed approximately 4000 pounds in pure gold, which in today’s market would make the griddle worth a little over 100 million U.S. dollars in weight alone.

~~John S. Dance~~