The Naked Spoinger

        The discovery of this creature was made in the 18th century by  a man named Stephen Daisies in Arlington, Virginia. The Naked Spoinger is completely bald all over its three hundred pound body, and has two beady almond shaped eyes that can see when a living being is as far as three miles away. It has a 10 foot long tail that it will use to whip around and chop down Eucalyptus trees when it is hungry. It is extremely rare if anyone ever sees the Naked Spoinger because it only dwells in places that are very tucked away. Those who have come across this evil creature say it looks like a gigantic naked mole rat, but with the face of a toad and the body of a large pot belly pig. This creature is often seen at midnight, eating only eucalyptus leaves by the pound. Just like the honey bee, the Naked Spoinger will only harm a human if it detects fear, or feels threatened/bothered. When the Naked Spoinger is in attack mode, it will run at it’s prey at a maximum speed of 63 miles per hour and use it’s 3,000 nail-shaped teeth to detach the arms and the legs of it’s prey while making a terrifying cackling sound, much like a rooster but louder. One way it is easy for humans to know when a Naked Spoinger is close to them is by their scent. This creature emits one of the most putrid smells known to man, extremely similar to rotten eggs, onions, mold, and expired milk. However if one has smelled this scent from the Naked Spoinger, they will not survive for very long unless they immediately evacuate the premises because the scent contains enough toxicity to stop the heart from pumping and therefore killing whoever it is that inhaled for too long. In the book, “Adventures Into Nothing” by Donald Flowerbeds, he discusses the near death experience he had with a Naked Spoinger, and how he had to fight for his life to escape the creature’s grasp. Nobody has seen this creature since Donald Flowerbed’s sighting, however it is said that if one goes deep within the woods they can hear it’s cackling and grunting in the early hours of the morning.

Mariah Boeving